Man, this one is a long one and very close to my heart. Bullying has been prevalent in my life from a very young age. I was bullied for a number of things from my weight to my haircut to my personality. Some of that still exists today. Bullying isn’t just something that happens in childhood—adults can face bullying too, and it can look different than what we may expect. Here are some signs to look out for, along with strategies to overcome them:
Signs of Adult Bullying:
- Exclusion or Isolation: Being intentionally left out of meetings, social events, or conversations. This can leave you feeling isolated and undervalued. How to Overcome:
- Assert yourself by politely requesting inclusion or offering your presence.
- Reach out to others outside of the situation for support or connection.
- Constant Undermining: Your ideas, efforts, or achievements are often dismissed, minimized, or belittled by others. How to Overcome:
- Stand firm in your convictions and calmly state your accomplishments when necessary.
- Keep track of your contributions and document any instances of undermining for clarity.
- Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Sarcastic comments, backhanded compliments, or subtle digs aimed at making you feel insecure. How to Overcome:
- Respond with clarity, calmly calling out the behavior without being defensive.
- Practice self-reflection to ensure your own responses are composed, and seek constructive feedback.
- Spreading Rumors or Gossip: Deliberate attempts to tarnish your reputation by spreading false or harmful information. How to Overcome:
- Confront the person spreading rumors with facts and calmness, addressing the situation head-on.
- Maintain your integrity by focusing on your work and values, showing others your true character.
- Verbal Attacks: Constant criticism, mockery, or put-downs that make you feel less than or inadequate. How to Overcome:
- Resist taking it personally and set boundaries with those who make hurtful remarks.
- Seek support from trusted colleagues, friends, or a counselor to help you process the experience.
- Manipulation: Someone uses tactics to control or influence you, often making you feel guilty, confused, or anxious. How to Overcome:
- Recognize the manipulative behaviors and trust your instincts.
- Establish clear boundaries and stand firm when someone tries to manipulate your emotions or actions.
- Excessive Competition: A colleague or peer repeatedly tries to one-up you in a way that feels like a personal attack. How to Overcome:
- Focus on collaboration rather than competition, and try to redirect energy toward positive teamwork.
- Don’t compare yourself to others—remember, their actions are more about them than about you.
- Gaslighting: A form of manipulation that makes you doubt your own reality or perception of events. How to Overcome:
- Trust your feelings and experiences. Keep a journal of events to preserve your sense of reality.
- Set clear boundaries, and if needed, remove yourself from toxic situations or individuals.
How to Overcome Adult Bullying:
- Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or colleagues about what you’re experiencing. Sometimes, an outside perspective can validate your feelings and help you gain clarity.
- Set Boundaries: Be clear about what behaviors are unacceptable, and enforce these boundaries. Stand up for yourself calmly and assertively, without engaging in drama or aggression.
- Build Confidence: Strengthen your sense of self by focusing on your strengths, accomplishments, and positive relationships. When you’re confident, it becomes harder for others to undermine you.
- Document Everything: If the bullying occurs in a professional setting, keep a record of incidents. This documentation can be crucial if you need to escalate the issue to HR or another authority figure.
- Focus on Self-Care: Bullies thrive when they can wear you down emotionally. Take time to nurture your mental and physical health by practicing stress-relieving activities such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.
- Know When to Walk Away: In some cases, it’s best to remove yourself from toxic environments or relationships. If the bullying doesn’t stop despite your efforts, leaving may be the healthiest choice.
Facing adult bullying can be incredibly tough, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. It might feel overwhelming, but with the right support, clear boundaries, and a boost in your confidence, you can regain control over your life. Start small, set those boundaries where they matter most, and lean on the people who lift you up. Confidence grows with every effort, and with time, you’ll see just how much power you have to maintain your well-being. You’ve got this.
