We’ve all been there.
You get an email that rubs you the wrong way. Someone says something that pisses you off. Something happens at work or at home and you immediately want to react.
Then you find out there was more to the story.
Maybe you misunderstood what they meant.
Maybe they didn’t have all the information.
Maybe YOU didn’t have all the information.
It’s really easy to create an entire story in our head based on one interaction.
Before you react, try three things:
1.) Ask a question
Sometimes it’s as simple as, “What did you mean by that?” or “Help me understand what happened.”
You might not like the answer, but at least you’re responding to the actual situation.
2.) Stick to what you know
What actually happened versus what are you assuming happened?
We are really good at filling in the blanks, especially when we’re already frustrated.
Make sure the story you’re telling yourself is actually true.
3.) Give it a minute
Not everything needs an immediate response.
If you’re pissed off, you’re probably not going to suddenly become a better communicator by responding faster.
Walk away. Think about it. Get the information you need and then deal with it.
You might still be angry.
You might still disagree.
You might still need to have a difficult conversation.
That’s fine.
Understanding the situation doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. It just gives you a better chance of handling it the right way.
